Explain…

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How will you explain the guilt,
The secret eyes behind a secret door
The mirror where a stranger always lurks
The darkness where a boy is always hiding

How will you explain the need,
The tremor in your haunted, lonely heart
The terror that at night your mind is fraying
The flesh for which your body longs with groaning

How will you explain the drive,
To make your life work here and now, forever
To grab a piece of heaven in your hand
And never have it leave your grasp again
To stroke and squeeze, and fiercely consume it
And feed the worm that on your soul is feasting

How will you explain the pull,
To be in love no matter how destructive
To live as if your heart no hurt is bearing
To run from home as if no home you needed

How will you explain the passion,
Which chains you like a beast at night so black
The urge so shameful, like fire that consumes you
And shackles you, a slave of secrets dark

How will you explain the shadow,
That inside lurks, behind a door that`s bolted
Old nameless fear, ancient dread unspoken
It terrifies a child in grown man`s body

How will you explain the madness,
Voracious crows your sanity devour
They take away the last enduring grain
And leave you in a room, cold, white and empty

There in that silence, sleepless voice resounds
Your ravaged mind it fills with utmost horror
It whispers that no peace you`ll ever have,
No hope and joy will ever spring within you

How will you explain the falsehood,
The mask your face so firmly that is gripping
The laughter when you feel just bitter tears
The silence when you want to scream with terror

How will you explain the shame,
That friend unwanted who holds you in the darkness
Caressing face so gnarled with searing pain
And with a black veil guilty eyes it cloaks
‘I`ll care for you’ with poisoned lips it whispers
And so the young tree ever crooked grows

How will you explain the bitter anger,
The shame embracing, evil lie believing
Your excellent and perfect heart you stomped on
Believing that it only death deserved…

How will you explain the sorrow,
Your glory and the beauty wasn`t seen
An ugly soul you thought your lot in life was
A twisted face and blackened heart to bear
Received as your fate from cruel gods

How will you explain the question,
‘Why was I made thus?’ little boy once asked
A question in the withered soul that echoed
And no one heard that silent, raspy voice
The answer from the unseen lips that slithered
‘That`s who you are,’ the shadow then proclaimed
‘And never in your life will you be loved!’
‘You are dirty, bad and rotten deep inside,’
‘And all who know you will forever curse you’

How will you explain the lies,
The wicked voice that echoed in your ears
Sharp, deadly words right in the heart that stabbed you
And doomed you to a life of endless torment

How will you explain the creature dark,
The hand unseen, your throat at night that`s gripping
The sharp and hungry blade your heart that pierced,
Your beauty, hopes and dreams it cut to pieces…

Since you were little is your soul so shattered
And you, my child, have not had too much joy
Confusion, hatred, bitterness consume you,
And shameful pleasure is your only friend

But look, your eyes move to the horizon,
And take your mind outside the hell within you
A world is there, that you my friend will see
That needs you, and the glory that`s inside you

A heart that`s darkened, rotting, almost dead,
Might not seem much to you or to the others
But long before the darkness draped your world
That heart was made for paradise and glory

And how will you explain the glory bright,
That makes you wish for world that`s somehow better
A world without death, pain, and broken hearts
Those places from your youth without the sorrows

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Why does your heart for such world always yearns
Why do you long so for a life that`s better
And why does that glory, buried deep inside
Death is refusing with a bitter cry?

It is because, child, such good world is true
Too good indeed, to not have been existing
And there is One who came to look for you
Down in the darkness, a Hero came to find you

Red blood once flowed, staining the wooden cross
A young brave heart that day ceased to beat
A sacrifice was offered to Death
A price was paid then, a captive was released

That captive is your dear, eternal heart
And you, my friend, for freedom have been ransomed
Each tear from you, there in the darkness shed
Is precious for the One that came to seek you
He cares for you, that heart is loved by Him
And God forbid that He should ever lose you…

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2 thoughts on “Explain…

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